


A Line Allows Progress, A Circle Does Not

by Exterminatorviolence



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Love at First Sight, M/M, Songfic, it's stupid, really - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-26
Updated: 2014-05-26
Packaged: 2018-01-26 16:38:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1695194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Exterminatorviolence/pseuds/Exterminatorviolence
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off of the Bright Eyes song, "A Line Allows Progress, A Circle Does Not". </p><p>"This feeling used to pass," Joel whispered back to Ray. Ray's arms came up to bring his head forward to rest their foreheads together. "But it seems like it's every day and every night now."</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Line Allows Progress, A Circle Does Not

**Author's Note:**

> Can you tell I really like Bright Eyes yet? This might suck, the song is great though.

Joel was sitting on his bed. He didn't need to be anywhere. His boss cut his hours so he didn't have to be at work and didn't have any classes to catch, so there went school. He could feel his eyelids starting to droop, but he didn't want to sleep. His dreams would remind him of memories he'd rather forget.

He sighed and stood up, and started to pace around trying to keep awake. He looked at the clock that his roommate, Jack, had hung up above the dorm room door. It read 12:00. Jack wouldn't be back for another couple of hours at least.

He walked over to the little bar they had and reached in the mini fridge and grabbed stuff to make a screwdriver. Fuck it. He's sad, he can drink. So what if he had three drinks already.

He felt like it was too quiet, but he couldn't get himself to turn on the TV. His cell phone started to ring from where he left it on the bed. It might have been Jack saying his class got out early and if he wanted to go out, or it could have been Geoff and Burnie calling to make sure that he wasn't dead yet. He inwardly groaned. He didn't need anyone calling to make sure he was okay.

He clearly wasn't.

The phone went unanswered.

As he was mixing the drink, he thought to himself that he had to be careful where he got drunk. He didn't want to pass out where Jack would find him again. He would give him a disappointed look and make Joel feel guilty. More guilty than he already felt at least. He shook his head. He knew drinking till he passed out wasn't good, but it was better than living with his brain that never shut off.

With drink in hand, he walked out of his dorm room, closing the door quietly. He didn't know where to walk to so he just sat outside of his room and started to drink it. No one was passing by, they were probably all at class. Sooner than he would have liked, his drink was gone and he was starting to feel a little warmer. He shook his head, he couldn't go back in the room. Jack would be concerned then, he didn't want Jack to be concerned.

He stumbled up and walked around the hallway; he had nothing to do. He tried to remember the neighbor who gave him drugs. Room 130. Joel blearily looked over at the door across from him. It read Room 127. He could make it to room 130. No problem.

He nearly smashed into the door and raised his hand up and knocked on the door. He more like pounded on the door, but he wasn't thinking. He just wanted something to make his brain slow down or stop. When no one came to the door, he fumbled with his pockets trying to find his phone so he could call them, until he remembered his phone was on his bed.

When he was about to give up hope, the door swung open. But instead of seeing the scrawny stoner kid with the beanie that always smelled like weed, a short, skinny kid was standing there with thick framed glasses. He had on a headset and looked a little annoyed. Joel could have laughed. He interrupted a kid who was probably playing a video game, he was an idiot.

The kid gave Joel a once over and said, "Can I help you?"

Joel took a chance, "Do, do you have any like drugs?" He leaned against the door frame to keep from falling over. "Or, is that other, other kid here? The one with the, the b-beanie," Joel patted the top of his head.

The kid somehow looked more annoyed. "I think you have the wrong room. I'm pretty sure he's next door," He rolled his eyes and started closing the door.

"No, wait," The kid paused and looked at Joel quizzically. "I mean. Just. I need a drink." He muttered. "I, I just. I need something. Please." For some reason, Joel didn't want this kid to slam the door in his face. He normally wouldn't have cared, but he craved some kind of human interaction that wasn't filled with disappointed faces and concerning voices.

"Look, dude. I don't know who you are-"

"Joel. My name is Joel. I'm in my fourth year of college for Dramatic Arts and my brain never shuts off and I need something to get it to slow down or else I'll go crazy,"

The kid sighed and leaned his head out of the door frame and looked around the hallway. "Alright, get in here then,"

Joel could have cried a little. He didn't.

He didn't say anything.

He stumbled into the room and nearly ran into a bed. Why was there a bed so close to the door? He turned to look at the kid, and immediately regretted it when the room spun.

"Sit down, there," He pointed to the bed and Joel practically fell onto it. He doesn't remember when his legs turned to jelly. His eyes focused on the kid again when he realized he was talking again. "I don't have anything here, man," Joel's face fell. "Sorry to disappoint," The kid shrugged and sat next to Joel on the bed. "My name's Ray," The kid-Ray-took his headset off and set it on the floor.

Joel mumbled something. Ray looked at him, "What was that?"

"N-nothing. I, I should go though. I thought...maybe you had something, you don't. I'll, I'll go find someone else," Joel rubbed a hand over his face and went to stand up.

A hand on his wrist stopped him though. "No, no you're not leaving. I've seen you around the campus, you're going to kill yourself this way." Joel didn't leave, but he didn't sit back down either. For the first time, someone didn't shake their head and sigh in disapproval's when he walked away. This kid stopped him.

"No, no. I won't," Joel had tears in his eyes and his heart was beating too fast and his brain was following along. "I, I need to go," When Ray still didn't let go he added, "Please." in a voice barely above a whisper.

"No," Ray shook his head a pulled a little harder on Joel's wrist. Joel gave in and sat down again. "You need to stay here,"

"You said you've seen me around campus..." Joel mumbled and trailed his sentence off. He couldn't think straight.

Ray nodded. "I have. A few months ago. You looked happier than you do now. I think you were laughing,"

Joel laughed bitterly. "My parent's say the same thing. I hear them talking about weight that I've lost when I go home to visit," Joel didn't mention that he doesn't go home to visit much anymore. He blinked hard a couple of times to try to stop the spinning. Though he didn't know if it was the room or just his brain.

He found himself laying down with his head in Ray's lap. This is nice, he thought. His eyelids started to feel dizzy again, but he didn't get up to stay awake. He let this strange kid keep running his fingers through his hair and closed his eyes.  
\-----  
Joel blinked his eyes open and groaned when the light hit them.

"Hey, looks like someone finally woke up," That wasn't Jack's voice Joel thought. Jack never talks to me in a soft voice. He sat up and groaned when his vision swam. "Hey, don't move too fast. I don't want puke in my room," He wasn't in his room. He turned to look at the voice and saw the kid that he thought he dreamed up. 

"I'm," Joel cleared his dry throat. "I'm still here?" He wiped his hands over his face.

Ray nodded. "I wasn't just gonna drag you to the hall...A thank you would be nice," Ray said in a stern voice, but Joel could hear the smile behind it.

"Thanks," Joel nodded his head. It wasn't a good idea. "If my, ah, roommate saw me. He would've had a fit." Joel sighed. Jack would still probably have a fit.

Joel started to think about what he was doing. He fell asleep in a guys room, in his lap no less, and he could hear his brain laughing at him. What was he doing with his life? He didn't want to feel like this anymore, depressed and anxious and alone, all the time. It wasn't fair.

"What isn't fair?" Joel jumped a little when he realized he said it out loud.

He waved his hand. "Nothing," He shook his head. "Life, maybe," He scoffed.

Ray cocked his head and his eyebrows furrowed. "Well, isn't that what life is? It's never fair, is it?"

Joel could hear his brain screaming at him to leave. To get out of the room and go drink some more to get rid of his hang over. Screaming that he was an idiot for telling some kid he just met about his problems. That Ray wouldn't even care, so what was the point.

Joel just wanted it to stop.

"I want..." Joel trailed off when he tried to think of the words that would explain it. When he couldn't he just laughed a little, bitterly.

"You should get more sleep," Ray commented, trying to change the subject. At least he wasn't touching Joel anymore. He wasn't sure how long he could resist spilling his guts to this kid. Joel told himself he needed to stop calling Ray a kid. "You look like a zombie walking around, ya know," Ray wasn't mocking him, but sounded like he was just stating a fact.

  
Joel shook his head, his eyes closed and he whispered, "I'm done feeling like a skeleton...I don't want to be just some sleep walking dead,"

 _You're never going to get out of this coma, ya know._ His brain laughed at him.

Joel shook his head. No. No He will. He's going to crawl of this bed he made for himself and stop counting on his phone to remember memories he wants to forget.

Ray looked at him a little confused, but said nothing, not wanting to make Joel angry. Joel appreciated it.

Joel slowly moved his head around, the spinning stopping a little, and tried to desperately find some source of light to make his brain shut off. His eyes wandered over to Ray who was still looking at him. Joel cocked his head and narrowed his eyes as he looked at him. Ray smiled a little at him Joel's eyes wandered to his lips. He's never had an instant attraction to anyone, boy or girl, this fast before. Unless he was piss drunk.

He leaned forward a little and kept his eyes on Ray's lips, all the while his brain screaming at him that what he was doing was a mistake and he was going to lose Ray this way. Joel mentally shrugged and thought he would lose Ray one way or another anyway, so fuck it.

Ray's eyes fluttered closed as Joel's lips touched his. Joel's lips moved against his and he lifted his hands to run them through Joel's hair while Joel's hands cupped Ray's face. Joel pushed closer to Ray, who opened his mouth to allow Joel's tongue to press through. He tasted like vodka and orange juice almost making Ray push him off. But as if Joel could read his mind, he dragged his mouth away and kissed his jawline down to his neck. This time, Ray did push him off.

"S-sorry," Joel said a little breathlessly. "I'll go now," His eyes were downcast, but a hand on his face raised his eyes back up to meet Ray's.

"Hey, no. Don't leave. It's like midnight right now, you'll get in trouble," Joel leaned his forhead against Ray's and closed his eyes. "S-stay here," Ray said. "With me," He looked a little nervous. "Just...no, no sex. That's too fast," Joel felt guilty when Ray's eyes closed.

Joel brought his lips to kiss Ray quickly. "It's, it's fine. I...shouldn't have just kissed you,"

Ray laughed a little and climbed into Joel's lap leaning his head on Joel's chin. Joel instinctively wrapped his arms around Ray's waist. "I was the one who invited you in, idiot. I obviously liked you, I even remembered you from around the campus," Ray placed a little kiss on Joel's jaw.

"Thank you," Joel whispered, closing his eyes and nuzzled into Ray's dark hair. For once, his brain had shut up. And he wasn't high or drunk. Was Ray his light? Is that what you call it when someone practically glows in Joel's mind?

  
"Hey, stop thinking so hard," Ray whispered. It made Joel chuckle and confirm that yes, Ray was his light. So what, if they had just met. He was fine with it. Really. He was. He would probably freak out later though. "What's something you like to do?" Ray was still whispering, as if, if he talked too loudly, Joel would get sucked back up into his head.

Joel shrugged and rested his chin in Ray's hair. "I'm, I'm not sure,"

_You used to have such a longer list. And you never had to search for a light._

Ray giggled and it made Joel's brain stutter to a stop. "Just one thing, c'mon,"

"You." Joel smiled a little at how cheesy he sounded. Ray flushed a little and his his face in Joel's chest.

"Shuttup," Ray's voice was muffled by Joel's hoodie and it made Joel smile properly for the first time in a long time. "I do get it though," Ray whispered. "Maybe not having a brain that never shuts up, but I get being depressed, ya know," Ray lifted his head from Joel's chest and looked at him. "It's like, you stop having fun and you don't like to do anything anymore, but it's worse than boredom. And suddenly it's almost second nature to second guess everything you do, and you just want to finish the half empty glass of alcohol that you have," Ray's eyes misted over a little. "I don't drink anymore, it landed me in a bad place. But it passed for me, and it will pass for you too,"  
Joel clung to Ray tighter as if he was going to disappear. And maybe he was. He wasn't so sure of anything anymore.

"This feeling used to pass," Joel whispered back to Ray. Ray's arms came up to bring his head forward to rest their foreheads together. "But it seems like it's every day and every night now." Joel wanted to cry. He didn't think it would ever pass for him anymore. He was stuck feeling depressed and that's all there was to it.

"I'll help you." Ray's voice cracked. "This feeling can't last forever, Joel. I'll help though," His voice dropped to a whisper. "I promise, I'll help." Ray's lips touched Joe's and he could have cried at how gentle it was. How soft the kiss was and how it held all these feelings that neither one could find words to express. Maybe, Joel thought, maybe he could get passed this.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Opinions would be awesome! Tell me things I did wrong! Tell me things I did right! Or give me prompts. I really like prompts too. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, it means a lot


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